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If you witness one of your mates, a family member or someone you know behaving in a way that is abusive don’t look the other way. Speak up because if you don’t, you are really saying it’s okay. While it’s never easy to speak up, it’s the right thing to do and doing so will show him that you respect women and that violence against women is unacceptable.  Imagine how you would feel if the abuse was happening to someone you cared about? If it was your sister, mother, daughter, friend or co-worker. 
Some things you can say:


Draw his attention to it.

“Do you see the effect your bad words have on her?”
“When you do that, it makes her feel bad.”
“Did you mean to be so rough? That’s not cool.”


Tell him what you think

"I’m really worried about her safety.”
“I’m surprised to see you act that way. You’re better than that.”
“I care about you but I won’t tolerate it if you abuse her.”
“This makes me really uncomfortable. It’s not right.”


Express ideas about loving behaviour

“Loving her doesn’t mean abusing her.”
“Good husbands and partners don’t say or do those kinds of things.”


Offer suggestions or solutions.

“Men should never hit or threaten the women they love.”
“Kids learn from their parents. Is this how you want your son to treat women?”
“How would you feel if your daughter chose someone who acted like this?”
“Call me if you feel like you’re losing control.”
“Maybe you should try counselling.”
“You should talk to your church leader and see what he/she suggests.”


If his behavior is criminal, tell him so.

“Domestic violence is a crime. You could be arrested for this.”
“You could end up in jail if you don’t find a way to deal with your problems. Then what would happen to you and your family?”

Source:  Colorado Coalition against Domestic Violence 

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